Grief, recovery and life after childloss

A memoir of a broken mother

My third pregnancy in 2007 was a rollercoaster of scans, tests, opinions and enormous emotions with a baby who possibly had esophageal atresia as well as a heart defect. We were also trying to navigate this time of ongoing hospital appointments with two small children.

My pregnancy, our son’s short life and then life as a grieving parent has been stressful, challenging and traumatic.

I have never really written publicly about Jamie but I have decided to write more about my experience of grief, recovery and life after childloss.

I wrote a blog when during my pregnancy and in the aftermath of Jamie’s death but intense grief made it too hard to continue.

My daughters are now in their 20s and I am in the reflective age of my 50s. I have a happy, simple life, which has not been without its challenges, but I have also been truly broken and I feel like I have been in recovery for so long now. I have never wanted pity, I still don’t, but the time feels right to talk about it.

I am going to write more about my pregnancy, birth and trauma, a 3 day life, navigating grief and being a mum, working with parents and trying to be me.