All posts filed under: Janine Smith

A unique range courses and support for expectant and new parents across Tyneside

grascale photography of toddlers foot

Making assumptions after babyloss

Many assumptions and comments can be made about life after babyloss and while most probably coming from a meaningful place, it can still hurt and be unnecessary. Grieving is very individual, even couples can grieve differently from one another and there isn’t a right way to do it. One assumption is that bereaved parents will want to get pregnant again, possibly quickly. And some parents do, this is right for them. Other parents will eventually get pregnant again but they don’t want to think about it straightaway or fertility support may be needed for pregnancy to happen. Comments after babyloss can be thoughtless We received a mix of comments from people. As it was our third child who died, it was assumed by some that we wouldn’t need/want to have another baby. Others suggested we try for another baby straight away, as if that would somehow plug the gap in our grief. Deciding to have another baby after loss is such a personal, emotional decision for parents. I wrestled with it a lot in the …

loneliness of motherhood

Loneliness of Motherhood

Having young children is not all about coffee shops and idle chatter. It is not a holiday. It can be one of the toughest times in a woman’s life. The loneliness of motherhood can be torture. With your first child, the learning curve is steep – learning to keep a baby settled, soothed and alive while recovering from pregnancy, birth and unrealistic expectations of how motherhood should be. You might be sleep deprived, in need of supportive mum friends and it could feel like you are on our own with the day-to-day responsibilities of looking after your baby. As a mother, you might feel judged, with unreal expectations stacked against them and your baby. It can be a hard slog. When you become a mother it doesn’t matter what job you do, how old you are or how much you spent preparing for your baby’s arrival – you have a baby to look after and it can knock your confidence when they cry, struggle to poo, won’t sleep and won’t settle anywhere but in your …

enjoy every second

enjoy every second

I will never forget the first time I heard someone say “enjoy every second with her” about my time with my daughter, who was a few weeks old. My first thought was ‘you’ve got to be kidding me, I’m too knackered to enjoy her’ and then I felt this huge wave if guilt because I wasn’t enjoying my gorgeous, healthy, tiny, precious baby. I loved her, I felt incredibly protective of her and I did everything within my power to keep her healthy, safe, alive – I kept breastfeeding when I didn’t have a clue and when I cried with every latch (thankfully the bad latch was sorted and feeding was a dream after that); I got up every hour in the night; I tried to listen to my instincts and I cuddled her and I gazed at her when she slept, although that was more relief that she wasn’t crying than of enjoyment. My first baby – who didn’t do sleep – nearly broke me. And of course I did enjoy time with her …

Can I Cuddle My Baby?

Can I Cuddle My Baby? comes up a lot especially from new mums with a baby who just wants to cling to them. This post is about baby development, your parenting instincts, what’s normal and why cuddling babies and children is not just lovely it’s crucial. In Western society babies can be seen as creatures to train and parents are encouraged to make their babies independent and self soothing. Any parent who cuddles, carries and soothes their baby can be seen as giving in, as failing, as making a rod for their own back. So, if you are asking Can I Cuddle My Baby? Here’s what the research tell us… When your baby is born  he has approximately 200 billion brain cells but there are very few connections between these cells – these connections are mainly responsible for emotional and social intelligence. 90% of brain growth takes place in the first five years of life Early stress (prolonged crying) can create negative changes in a  baby’s brain which could mean they develop an over-sensitive stress response (stress and anxiety) …

pregnancy cravings

I have heard that some pregnancy cravings are weird. Is this true?

Pregnancy cravings can be fabulously weird and wonderful and they can be pretty powerful with an over whelming urge to eat whatever it is you desire. It can vary from the healthier foods (fruit) to the not-so-healthy (sweets and fizzy drinks) with a range of odd combinations and non-foods (ice and clay) And you might not crave food at all – it could be all about smells. Here’s a selection of pregnancy cravings in your words… Double Deckers & bread. Nothing with too much flavour thank you very much! Sherbet Dib Dabs – couldn’t get enough of them Baby oranges and Mars Bar ice creams Ice lollies, cakes and sweets Clay Fruit Sponge chewing Pineapple Really cold water and apples Mint Magnums Broccoli and potato waffles Satsumas and cherry tomatoes Beetroot and ice cubes Blood oranges, sour strawberry laces and, erm, the small of rubber tyres in Halfords Capers, olives and anchovies Marmite as a dip for carrot sticks, pickled onions and cheese Chocolate milk and marmite toast Kiwi fruits and Big Macs Coco Pops …