3 ways to make peace with your birth experience

Being able to make peace with your birth experience can be really beneficial. Labour and birth is such a unique experience and we do need more honest conversations in pregnancy, as well as after birth, to talk through expectations, what went well and how new parents are feeling.

And this doesn’t have to be about birth being traumatic, it can be straightforward but still leave you feeling shocked and needing to talk it through.

I have spoken to so many women postnatally who say birth was all fine, they are fine but then talk about how different it was, how they wish they’d known something, how they might do it differently next time, how disappointed they might feel, how let down they might feel. Yes it might all be fine but it can also help to talk it through and voice what you are feeling.

– high expectations –

There can be such high expectations when it comes to birth – of doing it naturally, of waterbirth, of hypnobirthing. This can be important because belief in the birthing process goes along way BUT we are all different and it won’t be like this for everyone which is why I also talk about being better prepared for all births, not just your ideal birth. As someone who has had three different birth experiences and who has worked with parents for many years, I struggle with the idea that one type of birth is better.

I passionately encourage good, clear communication and I encourage you to talk, to ask questions, to know more of what is going on so you can be included and informed and so you can feel safe with decisions and options.

I regularly have conversations with mums about how they felt let down by the hypnobirthing course they did because they were ill-equipped for the reality of their birth experience.

And the truth is that nothing can truly prepare you for your labour and birth – it starts when it starts, it can have it’s own pace and you may feel a range of emotions. In preparation for birth, my job is to get you to think about the issues you might not have considered, to know your options and to know what helps. When your baby is here, my job is ask questions and to give you the opportunity to talk it through.

1. Good birth preparation goes beyond the information – having an honest and open conversation about your expectations for labour and birth in pregnancy can make a huge difference, alongside side a foundation of knowledge and options.
   
2. Talk your birth through – to have a better understanding of what happened and to focus on why it was different to your expectations.
   
3. Focus on how you feel and why – my job is to encourage you to talk through the challenges, disappointments and differences you experienced so you can deal with them and to help you focus on what went well.

You can book appointments to work around your schedule and there’s no time limit on when to have your sessions.

• Simply make your first appointment here…

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A few words about why being able to make peace with your birth matters…

I have spoken to women – and sometimes their partners – about the birth of their baby for many years. Birth is an enormous event, it can be challenging, it can be emotional and it can be very different from expectations. And it can be crucial to make sense of it, even if it was straight-forward.

Birth is personal and it can impact how women feel about themselves, about their body and their ability to parent – making time to focus on it can make a huge difference.

Some parents also want the opportunity to talk through the struggles and challenges they experienced with their newborn baby. This time can also be very emotional and it is helpful to talk it through and to make sense of it.

Please feel free to message me here with any queries.

Working with parents since 2002

My face-to-face sessions are ideal for parents across Newcastle & Tyneside. With video sessions, I work with parents from across the UK as well as internationally.
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