All posts filed under: WELLBEING ESSENTIALS

parent blogger newcastle and tyneside

Mental Health And Being A Parent

Parenting comes with a range of emotions and feelings, it is so unique for each of us. Good support, reassurance, talking, reaching out and honesty can make a huge difference to how we feel and how we cope – sometimes there are solutions, sometimes there are not. pride uncertainty confidence anxiety depression unmotivated fiesty empowered afraid isolated supported vulnerable strong despair selfless frustration love laughter lack of confidence overwhelming love able low mood unable anger calm fulfilled lost grief happiness love family selfish alone confused emotional love organised challenged in control responsible heartache out of control tense relaxed whole complete love overwhelmed sad afraid joy instinctive envious brave connected disconnected guilt love content struggling included satisfied ok excluded trapped grown-up tired failure energised fine focused loved clouded helpless powerful unhappy ignored hope The intensity and severity of these feelings will be different for every parent. For some, the negatives are fleeting but for others they are consuming and more support may be needed, although talking it through and getting a boost is always worthwhile. A …

Mental Health In Lockdown

I’m sure we have all been experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions throughout lockdown with isolation from friends and family, financial concerns, health worries, concerns about other people and the uncertainty around when this will all end. Everyone I have spoken to has is now really feeling it and has a desire to return to some normality, along with concerns about it being safe. My own personal strategy with this has been about looking after me and mine, we’ve gone to ground a bit, just focusing on our little unit. I have been working with a few clients, doing a lot of behind the scenes work and making plans for my little business which has made me feel guilty for not doing more! Lockdown has seen a full range of reactions in our house – anxiety, sadness, panic-attacks, depression, confusion, worry, anger, happiness and gratitude. It has created conflicting emotions such as experiencing stress about specific issues but having less-stress over-all, feeling free but also confined. And each day is different – some are positive, happy …

Mothers and the emotional load

Much is written about the motherload – the organising of children’s schedules and the household, – but let’s focus on the emotional load for a second – feeling responsible for, monitoring and worrying about your child’s wellbeing and development. It’s a huge load to carry, it takes time and investment and it can be overwhelming and exhausting. It’s part of the parenting package, it is crucial to older children and teenagers yet it is another invisible role often of mothers although I am sure plenty of dads take this on as well. Children always need our time and attention, as parents we need to listen to what they are really saying through, often through their actions rather than their words. And this is vital as children get older and then become teenagers – we often need to be their cheerleader, their counsellor, their life coach and their personal assistant (in addition to taxi driver, cook and entertainment’s officer) for them and their friends. This role starts when we carry our newborn baby when they need …

Loneliness of Motherhood

Having young children is not all about coffee shops and idle chatter. It is not a holiday. It can be one of the toughest times in a woman’s life. The loneliness can be torture. With your first child, the learning curve is steep – learning to keep a baby settled, soothed and alive while recovering from pregnancy, birth and unrealistic expectations of how motherhood would be. We are often sleep deprived, in need of supportive mum friends and it can feel like we are on our own with the day-to-day responsibilities of looking after our baby. In our society mothers are often judged, with unreal expectations stacked against them and their children. It can be a hard slog. When you become a mother it doesn’t matter what job you do, how old you are or how much you spent in Mothercare preparing for your baby’s arrival – you have a baby to look after and it can knock your confidence when they cry, need a poo, won’t sleep and won’t settle anywhere but in your …

Managing Anxiety

I just wanted to write a little something about anxiety, managing it and living with it. Many years ago, I never really understood anxiety, I knew about stress and I knew about depression but I didn’t appreciate what anxiety was, however it has been a companion since my son died 12 years ago, a shift that occurred with grief and trauma. But anxiety can strike anyone at any time, there doesn’t have to be a big event to cause it. Anxiety can be a huge part of being a mother – with juggling, with the responsibility, with the stress of sometimes doing everything – and it can be part of life as women get older because the perimenopause is the gift that just keeps on giving. My anxiety comes and goes, there isn’t usually a specific trigger, I just start to feel anxious and I have to manage it. I could probably take medication to manage it but I choose not to because most of the time I feel well and I can handle it. …