Pregnancy after loss – whether that has been miscarriage, stillbirth or the death of your baby – can be a time of anxiety and worry, which can range from mild to extreme. This can ease as your pregnancy progresses or you may remain anxious until your baby is safely in your arms.
Your pregnancy can also be a time of hope and happiness so you may be juggling some very conflicting emotions.
There is no right way to feel or to experience pregnancy after loss so focusing on what you need can be important. I have worked with a number of expectant parents who have all felt very differently.
- You might feel cautious about telling people about your pregnancy.
- It can be normal to put off preparing for birth – I am often contacted by parents who are well into their third trimester.
- Meeting your baby/bringing your baby home can also cause some anxiety so it can help to prepare for what to expect and what support you might find helpful in pregnancy as well as when your baby is here.
- It is also possible to feel frustrated with other people around you who don’t quite understand why you may be feeling anxious or cautious.
I help parents to manage their anxiety as well as their care during pregnancy, to prepare for birth again and for meeting their baby. It can help to talk through your birth needs and options – some parents want to be induced and others are planning a caesarean. This can help you feel better prepared and less anxious about birth and the arrival of your baby.
Pregnancy after loss
- Your pregnancy care may involve more appointments and scans – it will help to talk to your midwife or doctor about getting the right level of support for you.
- If you have any concerns about your baby – from a change in movements to a feeling that something isn’t quite right – contact your local pregnancy assessment unit to get checked out.
- If you do feel anxious and worried during your pregnancy, try to talk about it rather than keeping it to yourself. Knowing how to manage any anxiety with simple breathing and relaxation techniques can help to make it more manageable. This is a time to look after you, to ease as much stress as possible and get more support.
Pregnancy after loss – experiences
“My first baby was stillborn at 41 weeks. Throughout my second pregnancy I experienced extreme emotions that seemed to change from one day to the next – it was exhausting at times.”
“I was in denial much of the time – certainly until about 30 weeks when it started to seem real and possible and I knew I had to start to feel prepared for birth and bringing my baby home.”
“After experiencing miscarriages, I was a mess in the early months and I only started to feel more reassured after my 20-week scan when all looked good. I wasn’t able to properly relax until she was here though.”
“I enjoyed my pregnancy and I was much less anxious than I thought I would be but I found I was less chatty about my bump. I didn’t want any attention so I wore baggy clothes, I didn’t go to pregnancy yoga this time, I just wanted a quiet pregnancy with no fuss.”
“I wanted to avoid any questions, comments or excitement about whether this was my first pregnancy so I avoided groups and I did all my shopping online, I just couldn’t face those conversations.”
I provide pregnancy consultations so you can talk through your pregnancy, especially if you are feeling anxious, upset or worried. It can make a huge difference to feel less isolated and to develop positive strategies to help you with the tough days.
Mother Cuppa Magazine
Pregnancy Essentials | Birth Preparation Essentials | Labour & Birth Essentials | New Baby Essentials | Feeding Essentials | Babyloss & Grief | Useful Information | Breathing Space
For more information about pregnancy, birth and life with a baby, you can:
■ sign up for my newsletter
■ join my online membership for expectant and new parents
■ book a consultation with me
■ join the Mother Cuppa Walk & Talk Group
■ complete a digital course