The feeling of “I hated being pregnant” could be more common than you think. Pregnancy can be a complicated and emotional rollercoaster and it’s just not a blissful or happy experience for some women. Not all pregnancies are wanted or expected and some come with the added issues of illness and decision-making. Or you could have a very wanted pregnancy, everything is going well but you hate it – not everyone has to enjoy those 9 months, even though that is probably the hope and expectation.
Over the years I have spoken to hundreds of pregnant women and everyone’s experience is so individual but not many women feel comfortable about saying “I hated being pregnant.”
I hated being pregnant – feeling ill
“I just felt so ill – right from the beginning I felt really nauseous, day and night. I was never actually sick but I felt constantly sea sick. I kept waiting for it to get better but it never really did – it eased a bit during my second trimester but came back with a vengeance after 30 weeks.
I felt really bad whinging about it because I was healthy, and so was my baby, but feeling sick all the time was miserable and I couldn’t wait for my pregnancy to be over.”
I hated being pregnant – medical rollercoaster
“My pregnancy became a medical rollercoaster. From the 20-week scan it was detected that my baby could have a few problems, which required regular visits to fetal medicine and scans by different teams. I feel really conflicted when I look back on my pregnancy because I felt well, I loved my bump and I was happy to be pregnant but the stress and anxiety from all the different appointments was brutal at times. It felt relentless and no-one could really give me any answers – there was a slight plan but we had to wait until my baby was born. In the end I made a plan for the rest of my pregnancy with a wonderful consultant – she agreed that I needed to step off the medical rollercoaster to focus on enjoying the rest of my pregnancy.”
I hated being pregnant – the weight of responsibility
“Right from the beginning, as soon as that line appeared and confirmed my pregnancy, I felt trapped.
I wanted to be pregnant so this totally threw me. I can’t really describe but my life changed that day and no-one else’s did. I felt this huge weight of responsibility and I obsessed about doing the right thing.”
I hated being pregnant – my changing body
“I hated my body getting bigger – I felt big, cumbersome and heavy. How ungrateful do I sound? Healthy baby, I barely had an ache but really struggled with how I looked and felt! I’ve always been small and slim, I’ve always been active and being pregnant felt really alien to me – I didn’t feel attractive, I didn’t feel confident, I just didn’t feel like myself at all, which made me really sad because I wanted to love being pregnant, I wanted to love my bump!”
I hated being pregnant – anxiety about babyloss
“We had previously experienced miscarriages so I just couldn’t relax all the way through my pregnancy – nothing was different so why was this one working? At the beginning, I kept waiting for cramps and bleeding and then I expected there to be no heartbeat at scans or on midwife appointments. My baby’s movements gave me a lot of comfort but then I would obsess about not feeling enough or expecting them just to stop. It was exhausting. I just wanted my baby in my arms and for my pregnancy to be over.”
It is ok to say you hate being pregnant or that you are finding it a struggle and it’s crucial to get some additional support if you need it, just to ease any isolation and any overwhelm. You can speak to your midwife and you can speak to me for a listening ear and some ongoing support and reassurance during your pregnancy.
Please feel free to message me below with any queries.
Working with parents since 2002
Based in the North East, I regularly work with parents from Newcastle, Northumberland, Gateshead and across Tyneside. With digital courses and online video sessions I can now work with parents everywhere with morning, afternoon, evening & weekend sessions.