What type of mum did you want to be? Are you that mum?

The Being Mum project is about capturing the reality of life for mums after pregnancy, birth and with a baby.

I align most closely with gentle parenting. If I’m shouting then all I feel I’m demonstrating is lesson control and an inability to regulate/process my emotions.

I think I’m doing this fairly well, I’m trying to limit shouting.

Present, consistent, full of love – tiredness certainly doesn’t help but at 11 months in, I am enjoying it

I want to be a gentle parent and I really try but tiredness and frustration does get the better of me

Definitely aiming for a gentle approach but it was much easier when she couldn’t answer back!

I want to be a gentle parent but sometimes I wonder if I am too gentle!

I want to be child-led as a parent although I feel like I have sacrificed a lot of myself – sometimes too much!

I am still learning what type of parent I want to be – most of all I just want to be patient, loving and responsive.

The reality of life with a baby stops me from being as patient as I would like to be or to have the capacity to think rationally.

The rough nights and the reflux all take their toll and chip away and test me.

I wanted to be that well put together mam who always o always had everything organised, hair done, nails done, organic meals prepped – but once I had a baby I realised that parenting is more of a survival exercise so the trivial thing were forgotten

To be a responsive and calm mum – and I sometimes am that mum.
What stops me is the reality of parenting and the different demands it brings.

But I am the best parent for my son despite not being the parent I had hoped to be.

I thought I would be more chilled out and relaxed but long term sleep deprivation and having too many balls to juggle stopped that

A kind, loving, patient parent – I am generally this but sometimes exhaustion can get in the way

I wanted to be happy, energetic and engaged – a firm but fair parent. I wasn’t that with my first – postnatal depression was a massive factor – but I feel like I am more confident and wiser with my second. I am slowly learning to be the parent I want to be

I thought I would be a mum that hits the gym three times a week, who bounced back from stretch marks and baby weight gain.

Reality stopped this from happening as none of this is important now.

Responsive, loving, nurturing, reliable, supportive. I wanted to be there for my children and I have been, although it’s not always easy

Loving, protective and flexible to allow my daughter to be herself and to take risks. She’s still only young but I think we are getting there

Being Mum is about giving you a voice and a place to read other women’s experiences to normalise motherhood and to ease the isolation.

It’s also about starting a conversation about motherhood, about how individual it is and the impact it can have.

Please do read, share and take part.

With consultationsdigital guides and courses, my practice is here for you every step of the way. You can also become a member for exclusive content, discussion and a place to ask questions.

North East Birth & Baby is where you can read about pregnancy, birth and early parenting.

As a doula I work with parents from across Newcastle and Tyneside.

Copyright: Janine Smith